so many things....

Assalamualaikum....

sadar na sadar rupanya its been a year blog ani bebiar.... nada progress langsung... but na apalah.. aku cuba utk summarieskan ceta2 yg berlaku within a yr ani.... so many things kn dshare...tau dpt dmanfaatkan bersama...

lapas2 my last story sal Haikal dulu yg makan tgh mlm... something change yg aku pun hardly noticed.. but Thank you 2 my beloved mother, Hajah Fatimah yg menyedari perubahan Haikal...

my mom ckp Haikal na lagi mau bmain sama urg lain... kn mau menyendiri saja... fav place nya ddapur, ampir rak piring. at 1st we thought ia kn blajar main masak2.. tapi sdh lama2... wordsnya makin lama makin kurg.. ntah na tau dmana silapnya...

start bln mei, we tried 2 bawa ia jmpa ustaz... 1st ustaz yg kami jumpai is Ustaz Haji Mahali yg dkeriam. we gtaulah apa problem Haikal. tapi ia na lah gtau detail sal Haikal. ia just gtau yg ada yg mendangani ia... 2x we brubat arhnya... tpi alum nampak bnrlah progressnya.. so we go 2 Ustaz Dato Haji Basar dManggis.... masa we bawa ia ksana, thanks 2 my sis Dk Noraini yg sanggup mendangani kami mlm atu... kami sampai ksana, gam Haikal tdo... den we gtau arhnya da problem... den ia ckp, tani serahkan saja pada Tuhan.... bila we tanya adakah na yg ngacau ia, ia na jua mau gtau... (andang ia na mau gtau kata my sis) so we tawakal saja bagi Haikal air yang dbaca2i nya... da next morning... ilang tarus kalat mataku sal aku dangar Haikal ckp cani, "mama, mau nenen".... rawan bnr atiku... tarusku bangun buatkan ia susu.. den after dat nada lagilah ia ckp apa2... tapi 2x jua kami bawa ia arh ustaz Dato Haji Basar... last2 sal pyh juakan bjmpa dgn ustaz ani so we decided 2 tukar tmpat...

we tried 2 bawa Haikal jumpa dis ustaz yg dtg krmh my bro (Pg Ariffin)... tpi kata ustaz atu mayb Haikal terkandung dlm kanak2 yg lambat bckp... im not satisfied at all... den masa raya, we bawath Haikal jumpa dgn nini tua my sis in law (Norasaufizuryanti) dlumut... ahir plg sdh tym kami jln atu.. tpi kami kuatkn atilah...

smpai dsana, kana tnya ulih nini tua ani... katanya "ada kamu nmpak burung tdi yg warna merah?" kami ckp "nada" katanya,"ada tdi blakang kamu" kami pun na tah nyman ati... katanya patutpun ia na mau bckp... ia ikut bini2 tua yg andang na brapa bckp... ia tgl dblakang rmh kamu.. suddenly aku tkanag sal my dream sal ada bini2 tua yg kn cuba ambil Haikal... but aku paluk Haikal banar2 n ia na dpt ambil.. aku gtau mimpiku atu... katanya iatah sdh tu yg kn jadikan Haikal ani brg permainannya. iatah burung tadi atu kira cam hantarannya... pas ia ngubat Haikal n nyuruh kami ngurut2 slalu leher Haikal sal ada biji... n biji anith yg memblok petuturan Haikal... so we balik... tym balik ani lagi mcm2 ceta berunsur menakutkn yg kami ceta... smpai aku na dpt tido... pksaku srh my bro (Ak Zaen) naik kbilik n main komputer smpai aku tido... maybe around kul 5am baruth mataku mau lalap...

we tried utk ikut ckp nini tua ani... den we bawa lagi jumpa... Haikal kana mandihi... den na jua kami bputus asa... we try utk jmpa blk2 nini tua ani... den ngamtah ada 1 tym atu... kamipun bz utk pigi... n nini tua ani pun sdg bz jua... so sal aku na nyaman ati, aku srh my dad (Pg Haji Idris) utk menawari Haikal... da next day nya jua... ada Haikal panggil aku mama... just once... de we blk jua smula jumpa dgn nini tua bila ada masa...

den since na jua nmpak bnr progress Haikal.. n my fren (Heimeilia) ada bpasan... bawa Haikal brubat scientifically n traditionally... so we decided utk bawa ia bjmpa dr masa adiknya Haziqah klinik... n b4 umurnya 3thn... tapi ah... dr ani katanya maybe ia speech delayed... lagipun umurnya alum smpai 3thn... still normal utk kanak2 yg alum smpai 3thn ani alum pndai ckp... tpi sdh we convinced dr atu bnr2 yg Haikal pernah bckap n we even showed her video masa Haikal menyanyi lagu burung kakak tua baruth ia decided utk ngantar Haikal k speech terapi dKuala Belait... distance is not a problem for us... gnya... we bawa bjmpa dr dklinik ani masa bln oktober... tpi ia bgi kami apoinment dKB bln MARCH!!!! batah x ah... mun urg kn branak.. branak plg sdh... tpi na apa... kami sabarkn ati...

den masa 3rd march, we drove 2 KB.. rupanya urg terapi ani just kn menemubual aku saja dulu... kan btanya kisah2 sal Haikal ani... ada plg ia kn cuba enggaged wiv Haikal... tpi na batah... den after atu ia bagi kami next apoinment utk Haikal start terapi on da 18th... Alhamdulillah... terapinya berjln lancar... da next apoinment was on da 15th April. ngam th jua my daughter 2nd bday... den yg bari marahnya, we sampai sdh dsana den rupanya yg terapinya ani ada program lain... jauh2 we dtg kKB... we tried 2 tunggu... den rupanya na ia dpt blk.. so pksath buat apoinment baru lagi... da next apoinment is on da 6th May... yg menyakitkan lagi.... CANCEL jua lagi... next apoinmentnya kana set lagi 3rd June... sal aku na puas ati... aku bawa my hubby n Haikal jmpa dr dklinik Sengkurong... surprisingly... kami dpt set date utk jmpa dr dRIPAS on da 5th June... puas atiku... mau dgr yg menyakitkn ati lgi? on da 2nd atu aku kana called tpi aku na jwp coz aku sdg xam... den rupanya my hubby kana called... kana gtau CANCEL lagi sal ia ada something yg ngajut.... just imagine btapa sasaknya ati tym atu? den proudly my hubby gtau yg Haikalkn jmpa dr on da 5th... n so ia minta call.... minta inform wat happen pas atu...

Thanks alot.... millions of thank2 da dr dRIPAS who were very concern sal Haikal... tho i hv 2 repeat ceta Haial dari A smpai Z... but its worth it.. dis malay dr... baruku tau namanya dr Hjh Hayati(i guess) yg bnr2 mempush menyuruh buat Haikal's next apoinment cpt2... n yes... amazingly... kami dpt buat apointment wiv dr Silver Tan on da 9th June!!! capatkn??? puas habis rasa atiku... tho aku ada jua rasa takut 2 hear da results... tpiku positifkn pemikiran... HAIKAL MESTI DIUSAHAKAN!!!! da dr decided utk cek darah Haikal.. just in case... so dgn pilunya ati aku membawa Haikal beambil darah. cian Haikal menangis bnr2... but i dont think sal ia ksakitan... ia just na mau kana pigang....

on da morning... aku masih mabuk2 sal minum ubat batuk smlmnya... Haikal bangun awal cam slalu... masaku kn baa ia turun... sal suaraku ari atu sangat sexy n na basar... tpi aku cuba sdaya upaya manggil my maid.."bi...." n surprisingly... Haikal ikut aku panggil "bi" jua... ada 5x ia ikut manggil... tpi sal aku masih heng... aku besurak kajp utk Haikal... utk na menghampakannya...

when we smpai kCDC, Kiarong... tho we waited 4 a while... tpi dr Tan was very nice... we talked n discussed sal Haikal 4 about an hour... tpi ia na tarus jumped into conclusion yg Haikal is an autistic... ia ckp maybe jua Haikal ada sedikit autistic... tpi ia punya level atu ampir wiv normal.. apa yg kn diusahakn ialah petuturan Haikal yg tiba2 ilang... n fokusnya.... n Thank God.... amazingnya lagi.... we will bring Haikal jmpa dr lain utk menanalisis Haikal on da 17th June... now... kami nunggu saja utk membawa Haikal... smoga Tuhan melindungi Haikal... smoga Allah memakbulkan doa kami utk melihat Haikal pulih cam biasa... dpt manggil mama... ayah... adik... nini.... like he used to be...

btw... just now... Haikal sdg makan kropok mamee... n ia minta kropok atu kana tuang dtgnnya... ia ckp arhku... "mamam".... alhamdulillah.... i will write more sal Haikal nanti... smoga Allah memberkati usaha kami... smoga Allah membukakan pintu jalan yg terbaik utk kami memperbaiki kekurangan Haikal... semoga Allah melapangkan hati... menenangkan hati ani spaya sentiasa berpikiran terbuka n positif walau apa yg melanda... tpi yg penting skali... smoga Allah memperkenankn doa kami utk melihat Haikal pulih... tho alum lagi pasti ia autisma... n walaupun ia Autisma.... im still proud of him... i will alwez love him.... be strong my boy... we love Haikal so much.....